Don’t Walk a Mile in My Shoes

I live a very communal life. Especially in all the church activities I’ve been doing lately, I’ve been going to many gatherings in people’s homes and prayer centres. At the front door of each of these locations, I take off my shoes, set them next to the array of other ppls’ shoes.

I have very small feet. My shoes look dimunitive, and even to children in grade 5 or 6, my shoes can look funny because they’re so small.

One unfortunate Saturday, I left my Birkenstock Madrids in the foyer of a house I was visiting.  One of the kids that was there thought it would be funny to stick his gigantic feet in my shoes because they were so small.  He stood there, laughing.  I told him to get out of my shoes.  He stood there, laughing.  I told him that they were $80 and he was ruining them.  He stepped out of them.

When I put my feet back in the shoes, I noticed the leather strap had gotten noticeably loose, and the shoes were no longer comfortable.

The next day, I went to another church-run event, and I put my shoes in a shoe-cubby.  When I was leaving, I reached for my shoes, only to find that they were on the shoe mat, as if someone had worn them into the building and slipped them off as they came in.  The shoes had stretched even more, to the point I could no longer wear them.

If you have worn Birkenstocks before, you know all the glory of the cork sole.  When I first wore the Madrids, my feet hurt so much that I couldn’t leave the house.  But within a few hours of wearing them, I could no longer feel the shoes.  Not only were they not painful, they were downright comfortable!  I wore them to summer parties in the city, walking around downtown from 10am to 11pm and my feet only barely hurt.  Even running shoes don’t provide that kind of comfort.

Naturally, the thought of losing these amazing shoes because some kid and some lazy woman thought it was acceptable to wear my shoes for 5 minutes pisses me off.  I tried to be optimistic, I tightened the strap on the shoes so that my feet wouldn’t fall out of the slippers.  But now they give me blisters.  The most amazingly comfortable shoes that I’ve ever owned gives me blisters because someone wore them for 5 minutes.  I can’t believe it.  I want to find the woman who wore them and passive aggressively ask them how big their feet are, and how easy it was for them to ruin my shoes.  Oh, and how expensive they are.

Don’t EVER wear my shoes.

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