When two type-As date

My boyfriend and I are both type-A. I never thought I’d date another type-A, because I’m pretty extreme on the type-A scale, and thus have found every other type-A guy sorta douchy and unbearable. Alas, here we are: two super-productive, super-involved, super-busy people, trying to squeeze a relationship into our overloaded lives.

Well, we’re squeezing, and here’s what I’ve noticed: we barely have time for each other.

I’m the one that can never commit to a date. He’s the one that’s always on the way out. Every time we’re together, I feel the time pressure. ‘This is nice, but…I should really be working on that paper.’ ‘I really want to talk to him about this, but he needs to get started on that assignment.’

We both live lives so full that things have got to give, and as we start to take each other for granted, it’s time together that we’re giving up. Okay, I’m being unfair. I’m the proponent of giving time up, while he tries to over extend himself. Not a sustainable situation, in any way, shape, or form.

How do people do it? Does it survive in the long run? Can two type-As really be together, or are we destined to settle for a supporter-type who is not half as ambitious?


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  • February 2011
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